Jane (above) raises this topic for your comments.
Is it me or are the new licensing laws just a way of increasing binge drinking in this country? My experience after day 1 is that my partner Rob, who used to come home when the bar shut at 3pm Saturday afternoon, now rolls in at 5.30pm after I have had to ring the British legion bar to find out where he is.
This is likely to put a great strain on many relationships including my own. What is your view on this problem as I feel it has not been thought through properly. And does anyone have any experience of knowing or living with someone who has a drink problem?
Namaste (which means peace to all and is my house name)
Jane
Believe it or not, when seeking my 'name of essence' on Buddhaminders, I was given the name Drunk Protector!
Quite an apt photo for the subject. Me on my 50th birthday, the first time in years I have got drunk!
2 comments:
I agree with Ciariad and Jane. The media only focus on the job the police have to do on the streets but ignore the extra heartache caused in the home. I think Ciariad is right when she says this may have two aspects, the addiction to alcohol is one and the need to socialise with like-minded people is another. Both are a feature in Jane's situation. But the drink is the greater problem because this also happens indoors.
One of my ten daily vows is 'Not to get intoxicated by drink or drugs'. If only the world could live by this. And I would include cigarettes in this vow too as they are another unnecessary cause of pain and heartache for the friends and family of lung cancer victims. But now i am perhaps becoming too much of a killjoy!! What do you think?
I have never posted before so a big hello to everyone connected to this site and a warm thanks to Bruv and Namaste for bringing me into the fold. I wanted to contribute to this discussion because Namaste has a very good point. With pubs open for longer hours is the government sending the message that all day drinking is perfectly ok. Anyone who lives with someone with a drink problem knows that it is far from ok. My granddad was an alcoholic and propped up the bar in his local for as long as it was open. Sadly when he was drunk he was aggressive and often took the belt to my dad and his siblings. My dad was a wonderful warm person with a huge capacity for happiness but was crippled by several neurotic issues that clouded his life and I believe may have stemmed from living with constant anxiety as a child. Why does anyone feel the need to blot themselves and the potential happiness of a sober life out with booze. Maybe because their own upbringing wasn't happy and they use drink to block out the pain. Maybe they don't have high expectations for their own lives because they were bought up surrounded by low expectations. Even if licensing laws were more stringent people can still buy cheap booze from a supermarket or offy and keep themselves tanked up all day if they want to, though as has rightfully been pointed out, there is a club like apmosphere in a pub of like minded people that may offer people with a drink problem a chance to drink themselves silly without being judged the way they may be at home if they are with partners that drink less. To get deeper still I had a conversation with a client yesterday after giving her a japanese face massage. She was saying how wonderful it felt and that she had a friend who may benefit from the experience. She then added how her friend was a lovely but repressed lady who may not allow herself the pleasure. This led to a discussion of our cultures low contact repressed nature. The british stiff upper lip that makes it hard for us to open up with our anxieties, fears and even our joys. Sometimes I wonder if alcohol and other recreational drugs allow us to let go. To cry and laugh and express love and anger in ways that feel uncomfortable sober. Of course because someones drunk it comes out all wrong but the intention is still good. How can we help people like Rob to be happier in his skin sober? Ultimately he may have to become so unhappy with his own drinking that he chooses to embark on a painful journey of self discovery and then hopefully peace. Its a good start that he has someone like Namaste who cares for him, but ultimately he will have to change for himself. Namaste you need love and support during your difficult journey offering love and support to someone with a drinking problem.
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