Hello Namaste really nice to see you getting involved in Dao. For some reason I could not place this is a comment on your original text - hence this new post.
I have to admit that I had to look up on the web the new licensing laws as it was not clear for me what they included. On the web site I visited they were, of course, being hailed by the UK government as a measure of liberation for adults, and a commercial opportunity for those who sell liquor, but unfortunately, there was no mention of people who have a problem with drink.
I have had several experiences with people with drink problems, one being my old neighbour Jason, who's girlfriend was an alcoholic and who regularly visited me at midnight for 'a chat' really a counselling session - not possible with an alcoholic. More recently, a good friend of mine has started drinking 2 bottles of wine per day over the period of the last 2 years due to the severe problems in her marriage - her father was an acoholic and died early of drink-related illnesses - she has just left her husband for another man, I therefore, hope that she will now be able to resist the drinking. She really wants to.
More recently, in October, a friend of mine stayed here for 5 days with her husband and 2 children and I had no idea that she had such a severe drink problem - 2-3 bottles of wine each night plus whisky nightcaps - he also drank a fair amount - I can tell you it was a nightmare for me, and I found her relationship with her partner (and with me to some extent) very abusive verbally, she has a history of depression in her family - her brother committed suicide very young, so I know that there are mental health problems which run in the family.
I understand where Ciariad is coming from - where does the need for Rob to drink come from? I know a little about his sadness with his father dying etc and perhaps there's moreto tell? Perhaps this is why he drinks? Is there an opportunity for him to go for some counselling to put to rest some of these elements? Then, perhaps the need for drink would not be so strong?
Or, is it just a social thing? Having lived all of his life in Watchet, he obviously knows everyone, and a drink down the pub is a very large part of the local social life? However, I suspect that the drinking is not just on Sunday's and its part of a much larger drinking problem for him and for you.
You have probably discussed all of these points with Rob endlessly, I know.
Perhaps Ciariad's suggestion of going out together for a Sunday lunchtime drink might resolve the Sunday problem?
I know what an endless struggle drinking can be for the drinker, and like Bruv says, the terrible effect it can have on friends and family.
I have it to some extent with my hubbie and his smoking. Now that he works away - at weekends I notice more how much he smokes - and boy does he smoke! And of course, the smell and the mess penetrates everything - as you know his Father had cancer in his lungs and throat quite recently, so its in the genes - but that's still not enough of a deterrent.
Still we all have our emotional crutches in life - for me its food.
I am sending you lots of love and strength with this one Namaste
Swan xx
3 comments:
We can see from Swan's post how widespread this problem is. How often people turn to what is bad for them as a help in troubled times. Is that because the 'good' sources of help, such as the church, are rather devalued these days. Perhaps blogs like this are becoming the 'good' sources of help that wont damage you.
My personal view for what it is worth, is that it is hard if not impossible to change someone else's behaviour but we can work on ourselves and perhaps through setting an example influence others that way. Think about the crutches that we all use here. Perhaps food struck a chord with a few of us and it can be just as damaging in the long run. Let us try to mend our own ways and show that it can be done. Do we have the makings of a support group here?
PS Stunning image, Swan
I have just read an interesting book called beyond fear, by dorothy rowe. as a psychiatrist, she examines peoples behaviour..... and her view on the subject is that addictive behaviour is all about blotting out the fears we have maybe at a subconcious level. It is a deep read but well worth it! the reveiws on Amazon give a better flavour.
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