Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Does drink make you happy?


A post from our newest fellow-spirit Michelle, who I have invited to be a contributor.

I have never posted before so a big hello to everyone connected to this site and a warm thanks to Bruv and Namaste for bringing me into the fold.
I wanted to contribute to this discussion because Namaste has a very good point. With pubs open for longer hours is the government sending the message that all day drinking is perfectly ok. Anyone who lives with someone with a drink problem knows that it is far from ok. My granddad was an alcoholic and propped up the bar in his local for as long as it was open. Sadly when he was drunk he was aggressive and often took the belt to my dad and his siblings. My dad was a wonderful warm person with a huge capacity for happiness but was crippled by several neurotic issues that clouded his life and I believe may have stemmed from living with constant anxiety as a child.
Why does anyone feel the need to blot themselves and the potential happiness of a sober life out with booze. Maybe because their own upbringing wasn't happy and they use drink to block out the pain. Maybe they don't have high expectations for their own lives because they were bought up surrounded by low expectations. Even if licensing laws were more stringent people can still buy cheap booze from a supermarket or offy and keep themselves tanked up all day if they want to, though as has rightfully been pointed out, there is a club like apmosphere in a pub of like minded people that may offer people with a drink problem a chance to drink themselves silly without being judged the way they may be at home if they are with partners that drink less.
To get deeper still I had a conversation with a client yesterday after giving her a japanese face massage. She was saying how wonderful it felt and that she had a friend who may benefit from the experience. She then added how her friend was a lovely but repressed lady who may not allow herself the pleasure. This led to a discussion of our cultures low-contact repressed nature. The British stiff upper lip that makes it hard for us to open up with our anxieties, fears and even our joys. Sometimes I wonder if alcohol and other recreational drugs allow us to let go. To cry and laugh and express love and anger in ways that feel uncomfortable sober. Of course, because someones drunk it comes out all wrong, but the intention is still good.
How can we help people like Rob to be happier in his skin sober? Ultimately he may have to become so unhappy with his own drinking that he chooses to embark on a painful journey of self discovery and then hopefully peace. Its a good start that he has someone like Namaste who cares for him, but ultimately he will have to change for himself. Namaste you need love and support during your difficult journey offering love and support to someone with a drinking problem.

1 comment:

Bruv said...

Lots to think about from Michelle.

One of the reasons I started Dao was my belief that if we all loved and supported each other, we would each experience the joy in living a shared spiritual life. When I feel supported and loved I am sure I would be less likely to reach for the beer, dope and fags, what Swan has very aptly called the emotional crutches. i feel very positive about life after seeing all the caring thoughts that have been left here and I hope you do too.