I am currently studying a book, for my hypnotherapy course, called Human Givens. Among many other matters, it includes a well-researched theory of how dreams are created and what they are for. To summarise, it suggests that there are two 'givens' in dreams.
1. Everything in your dream is a metaphor for something that has happened to you in reality. So the people or events in dreams can be traced back to real people or events happening to you.
2. Your dreams are attempting to resolve, in metaphor, situations that you have not been able to resolve the previous day.
The thinking behind this is that the purpose of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep is to enable you to deal mentally with things that you werent able to resolve in reality. And your dream does this by using metaphor to take the sting out of things you might find painful to resolve if you dwelt on them too much consciously. So it is the body's mechanism for maintaining your mental wellbeing.
It would be interesting to put this theory to the test, so may I ask you that next time you remember a vivid dream could you share it, together with what had been on your mind the previous day. I did this recently and found I was dreaming about meeting a Greek girl and her family. I wondered where this dream setting had come from. When I thought back, I remembered that the night before I had seen a comedy show, The League of Gentlemen, which had a particularly leering and nasty Greek father-figure (pictured above) who kept bursting in on his young lodgers when they were about to make love.
Love Bruv
The thinking behind this is that the purpose of Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep is to enable you to deal mentally with things that you werent able to resolve in reality. And your dream does this by using metaphor to take the sting out of things you might find painful to resolve if you dwelt on them too much consciously. So it is the body's mechanism for maintaining your mental wellbeing.
It would be interesting to put this theory to the test, so may I ask you that next time you remember a vivid dream could you share it, together with what had been on your mind the previous day. I did this recently and found I was dreaming about meeting a Greek girl and her family. I wondered where this dream setting had come from. When I thought back, I remembered that the night before I had seen a comedy show, The League of Gentlemen, which had a particularly leering and nasty Greek father-figure (pictured above) who kept bursting in on his young lodgers when they were about to make love.
Love Bruv
14 comments:
I have always dreamed a lot , and find that the metaphore way of explanation really helps . although i have been divorced for 15 years, i still find my ex in my dreams ,....where I feel completely powerless..... as there is still so much unresloved about his treatment of my wonderful kids.
But I am thank ful that my inner self has it's own way of healing , even if I cannot reslove these things in the here and now .
Dear Bruv,
I will definitly get with you on this. I dream vividly almost every night, it seems.
As I've mentioned before, I'm not very good at analyzing my dreams, but they are powerful and stay with me for longs periods.
I'm so glad to see you're studying dreams. It's nice knowing your classes are going well.
Blessings,
Lynn xo
Yes I dream a lot too, but can't always remember, so I will really try to make an effort now Bruv x
Dear Bruv,
I've been having many dreams as usual, but this one has stayed with me for a long time. I sent it out to friends a while ago, but dug it up again because I'd love to know if you can help me figure this one out. Some of the players in the dream seem like an odd mix as well as the unfamiliar hospital and town it took place in.
I had been thinking about my mothers constant illnesses and that it was time to let go of the firm grip I had on Leslie (my sister who passed and who was a head nurse at my family's health hospital and clinic)). Then I had this dream that night.
I was in a unfamiliar hospital where my mother was on an I-V getting some kind of
drip so that the annurism she was told she could experience in as little as 10 minutes
wouldn't hurt her as much. My step-grandmother, who passed 25 yrs ago, was
there assisting my mother, as though she was sort of in charge of the procedure. My father was on
a reclining chair at the foot of the hospital bed. The hospital looked very crowded and busy. Not a hospital I'd been in before.
Then the scene changes, I am in a strange area of town in a town I've never
been in. I am taking bike rides very late at night. My mother comes out to where
I am keeping my bike and has some sort of exchange with me. I'm not upset,
but she's said something to me to let me know she needs to know when I'm
going off for bike rides. I remember riding thru the streets for several nights.
Nothing scary happens, but it was eerie. When I return from my bike rides, I lay
on the cement & brick ground of a shed to sleep, as though I live there. I don't know whose shed it it, but it's cold and dark and dirty. A very young
boy walks to me where I am laying and turns on a lamp next to my head. He smiles
at me and says something I don't remember. I look up at the wall in front of
me and there is a loft room in front of me as I lay on the floor. A teenage boy begins playing the guitar and singing
and smiling like he was on stage looking down at me while I lay there. Don't remember actually hearing him play,
but I knew he was performing. He reminds me of one of my close friend's nephews.
The scene changes again. I am back at the hospital. My mother is very anxious
because her drip ran out and she's tired of waiting for the annurism to come
about, and is scared it will hurt. She tells me to get an I-V of C1. I go to the
nurse (who is in real life one of my customers who is an a nurse) and ask her for some C1
(whatever that is);-). She gives me the C1 and my step-grandmother says, you better
be certain it's the right I-V cuz you don't want to be the one to..... and
she stopped talking. I look behind her and my mother's head is hanging back off the side of the bed and her mouth is wide open. I look at my father and he gives me a look as though
he knows she took her last breath, almost like he couldn't look at her. So,
I put down the I-V and walk over to the bed. Now my mother is the size of a newborn
baby, wrapped in a blanket and laying on her side ready to die. I hop on the bed
next to her which makes her body jump high on top of the bed. I hug her and take
her into my arms and then wake up.
Any thoughts?
Hugs, Lynn xo
Dear Lynn,
Sorry it has taken me a while to respond.
Here are my thoughts for what they are worth. Underpinning them is the concept of ritual magic. Ritual magic is where you act out a situation before it happens so that you either help it to occur, think of native Americans acting out a hunting dance, or to better cope with and appease a threatening situation, think of ancient peoples making sacrifices to appease the thunder god.
Either way, you are acting out something beforehand so that you make it easier for you to cope with when it actually happens.
I believe this dream is you experiencing the death of your mother beforehand, so that you will find it easier to cope with than you could with Leslie’s passing. The key early phrase is you felt “it was time to let go of the firm grip I had on Leslie”. This is telling you that you want to be better prepared to cope with the death of your mother by experiencing it before it actually happens.
The unfamiliar hospital and town are all part of the distancing devices that allow you to live through the death of your mother without being so upset. The bike rides are used as a metaphor to remind you of how much your mother has cared for you; she shows her concern about your safety by needing to know where you are going on your rides. Perhaps what she actually means is where you are going in your life.
I can’t read much into the two boys as I do not know what they represent. It might be worth thinking about what you feel about your close friend’s nephew. What strengths and qualities could he represent? Is he someone who takes things in his stride?
Then we are back in the hospital for the main purpose of the dream which is for you to experience your mother’s passing. You do all you can to sort out the I-V medicine for her, but you realise she will die anyway. Your step-grandmother tries to make you feel guilty but you know you are not guilty of anything as you tried your best to help. Then you and your family each experience their feelings of loss as she passes on. You each mutely feel for each other in your grief, which is as it should be.
The bit about your mum’s body jumping in the air is, I suspect, something to do with your belief in the spirit and may be a metaphor for her spirit ascending at her passing.
The very last part of the dream is you expressing your love for your mum, which again is as it should be and is perhaps what you were not able to have a chance to show when Leslie passed.
In summary, I believe this is a supportive healing dream which is allowing you to better cope with the inevitable when it happens.
Let me know if any of this connects.
Love Bruv
Hi Lynn,
A further afterthought. Perhaps this dream is telling you to do something. I believe you told me that when Les died there were certain things said and left unsaid which made it more difficult for you to get over her passing.
Perhaps this dream is telling you to make sure there are no feelings left unsaid with your Mum by letting her know how much you care for her and appreciate her bringing you up and taking care of you.
Have you been able to tell her these things already or do you still need to do so?
Love Bruv
Dear Bruv,
This connects 100% with me. The first boy who turned the lamp on by my head is someone I don't ever recall seeing before. But perhaps he's turning a light on in my "head"? My friend's nephew playing the guitar may be playing out how I relate music to everything in my life. And since he was smiling, perhaps it will be a familiar song that I will choose once my mother has passed. And perhaps it will be a song that will bring back happy memories about her.
I love what you have come up with. And how I was able to fit in the missing pieces. I'll mention that your interpretation seems to fit well, as I watched myself yesterday throughout my father's surgery and afterwards. I am a different person than I was when Les passed. I handled the situation very careful and calmly. And everyone benefitted.
I'll mention thought that once I got in my car last night to drive home, I broke down (briefly) with relief that my father wasn't ready to pass over just yet. He's fighting hard to stay with us and his surgery went well. I wispered in his ear several times how much I love him. All he could do was move his head up and down, but that was enough for me. This was just 3 hours after his surgery. I am blessed.
Sending love to all of you. Thank you Bruv for taking the time to send such a healing account of my dream. It resonates.
Peace and blessings,
Lynn xo
Hi Bruv!
Over the past 6 months, I have been talking openly with my mother about many things. I realize communication needs to be clear. I've recently had conversations with her that I never would have brought up before. She seems to really listen to me an remains mostly open to my thoughts. I'm also preparing for a time that my father may pass before her. I want to be sure she knows she'll be taken care of.
This stuff is hard to deal with !!!
Thank you Bruv!
Hugs,
Lunn xo
Hi Lynn,
It is so good to hear that your dad is fighting, as King Weigel should, and that you are able to share your feelings so well both with him and your mum.
I like your additional interpretations of your dream. Switching on the light is such a good metaphor for us suddenly seeing the direction we should go in. So much of dream is metaphor, and the metaphors are usually phrases that mean something to you personally translated into visual images.
Well done and much strength to you and your lovely family.
Love Bruv
Lynn, so glad that your father's operation seemed to go smoothly. How lovely that 'nod of the head' must have been after your anguish. Lots of love to your father, and please send him all of our healing thoughts on the Dao. For you, I expect it has been a roller-coaster of emotions leading up to the operation, through it and now thankfully past it.
I do hope that the worst is over and that your father makes a really successful recovery.
I was mesmerised by your dream Lynn, you have so much detail here, it's amazing.
I think Bruv's thinking about it and your own, was spot-on but I have a few observations to add or to wonder about.
What was the relationship between your mother and your step-grandmother like? I wondered why she was in charge of the procedure and was almost trying to say that the blame would be on you if the treatment wasn't right? And then counterbalanced with this your father was sitting in a reclining chair, which I presume meant that he could see it was a fait accomplis about the whole thing (taking it in his stride?)
The fact that you were in a strange hospital and Lesley worked in the family's hospital (Lesley wasn't there which perhaps was why it seemed strange - she would normally have been there I presume?) This seemed to be the strong link for me with the passing of Lesley and the feeling you were having about your Mother's passing.
I don't know exactly what the bike rides signify, but for me they said escapism, having to get away, taking lots of risks, is this something you did when Lesley passed, if so, perhaps your mother was coming out to you to say you don't have to act like that again, or don't do that when she passes?
The bike rides combined with the shed to me said 'guilt' I don't know why, but this is what popped up into my head, perhaps the bike rides were trying to push you to the limit, perhaps you felt guilt that you were still here and Lesley (and soon to be your mother in the dream weren't) you had to live life dirty to take away some guilt or add some pain perhaps??? Sorry but this is how I read it.
And then the little boy appears, he for me was the innocence in the situation, someone who did not know how you were feeling inside but just wanted to make you feel better, give you warmth and light? does your nephew know how much you love music? If so, perhaps then this was his way or the dreams way of making you feel better? Giving you back your love of life?
Your mother sounds like a very practical lady (in the dream) someone who likes her life organised she was 'fed up with waiting for the annurism to come' so she asked you to go and get the treatment, she relies on you a lot? she also didn't ask your step-grandmother, who was supposedly in charge of her treatment, she put her trust in you.
Finally, your father seems resigned to her passing, he knew it was going to happen and when it does, he shows very little.
I see the baby as the reincarnation of your mother, her spirit going into a new life, and the jumping up in the air as the new life starting, the renewal, the energy.
Its a really intriguing dream Lynn, I know why you remembered it, it's a special one.
Much love Swanxxxx
I just looked back at Fuchsy's first comment, and I wondered Fuchsy, if you would like to share here what happened with Yolanda recently and her redundancy and how it brought back those very strong feelings about her father, I do not know what the outcome of this was by the way, so if its too difficult to put up here I fully understand.
But for me it was another reminder about how painful things which happen so early on in your life, really do sometimes affect you deeply for the rest of your life if you cannot put them to bed.
Like Fuchsy and her dreams about her ex even though he left 15 years ago.
Like Nam and the passing of her dear mother at a very early age, and like Lynn more recently with the passing of her dear Sister.
I read recently that the brain diciphers 60,000 feelings each day and then has to put them somewhere, and most of them are negative. (may-be 60,000 is too high) but it was a very large amount. And that 'putting them somewhere' is often in a dream.
Now there's a thought
Swan a kiss for all of you (by the way where is Pinky these days?) xxxxxxxx
Hello my dear French friend!
I love what you have to say about my dream. You mention that you wonder if my nephew knows how much I love music. Well, it wasnt until you put it this way, but I'm wondering why I didn't think of this person playing guitar and singing as my brother, Jay? He is an orchestra composer, director and writes many scores for TV, commercials and movies. I wonder if this boy in my dream really represents Jay. I don't know, cuz I never thought of Jay until just now after reading your post.
My mother, I'm sure, relies on me more than I am aware. She used to rely on Leslie, since Les was the oldest and was a nurse at the hospital/clinic. Les thought she was a doctor, constantly advising my mother and giving my mother tons of free sample drugs for her arthrits. My mother is at the clinic at least 3 times a week and Les was the nurse for my mother's doctor. Since Les left for Home, perhaps I've sort of taken her place.
Swan, I want you to know that just prior to my father's surgery, I thought about one of your posts regarding your parents and their mortality. How hard it was for you to think about. And I remember stating that I am in a great place now and see death very differently since Les left. Well, some very strong emotions stirred up this past weekend about facing the reality of what could happen to my father if his surgery didn't go well. Anyhow, I thought about you and realize it's a very fine line between acceptance and fear. Perhaps I won't know how I'll handle the next passing until it actually happens.
Oh... the bike rides that my mother was talking with me about in my dream. In the 8th grade, I used to sneak out the house after everyone was asleep and ride my bike thru the streets with my friends. Another thing I hadn't thought about until just now. I wonder if she knew? Or could it be her spirit relaying to me to be careful because her spirit knows what I did?
The King is doing very well. This morning he was trying to get out of his hospital bed with enormous effort. I jumped up and asked him what was wrong, what was he trying to do. He said "Dinner's ready, I need to get going". I just about laughed til I cried. He's so juiced up and won't remember anything from the last 2 days, I'm sure. It's been fun doting all over him. I've never had the opportunity to do this.
I haven't heard from Pinky since about the time he posted here last. I'm going to send him an email to see what's up!
Thanks to both of you for your time and help with my dream. I love you dearly.
Lynn xo
Hey Lynn, there's a lot we don't know about your family, tell us more about Jay.
So glad that your father is raring to go, it's amazing isn't it, I think when one has an operation, there is so much energy back in your life afterwards, due to the lack of worrying about the operation, that you are just raring to go again, you feel like perhaps you have a new body, a new engine to get started.
Your bike rides sound like so much fun, you know this made me think of my childhood, I wasn't allowed a bike, or roller skates, or anything dangerous! My mother lived in constant fear about me getting injured or hurt. I know this fear as I feel it sometimes with my kids, but it doesn't mean that I am going to stop them living, how wonderful it would have been to have had some or a little of this freedom. I think I have thought against this all my life - feeling the fear of situations (which I have had a lot) and doing it anyway.
'It's a very fine line between acceptance and fear' is such a good way to put it Lynn when we think about our parents mortality. It is that. We all know that it is going to happen, but when it does - who knows how are we are going to respond!
Have a good day love Swanx
I know it's hard to shed some fears that were instilled in us throughout our lives. It's wonderful that you are breaking the cycle with your own children. I was so young when I had Ashlie that I was still living some of my parent's fears and passed them on to her, I'm sure. Ashlie still has some rebellion when it comes to me. Perhaps it has to do with what we are discussing here. I don't know, I'll have to think about this more.
I believe our Souls have a sharp understanding about our individual selves when we enter into this life. When we resonate strongly with something as a child, perhaps we should be allowed to go with the flow of it. Maybe that experience is exactly what we are here to live out? Parent's should monetor, of course, but keep fear out of it. We were never allowed to jump on a trampoline or ride on a motorcycle. This quickly prompted me to ride on the back of a motorcycle when I was 17 and have an accident. Then when I was 19, I bought one for myself. I suppose that was rebellion rather than my Souls desire, but I think this is what happens in a lot of cases.
My brother Jay started out very early in life learning, listening and writing rock music. Once he received his masters in music, that evolved into Jazz and Classical. He has several cds cut and worked endless hours composing. He was commissioned to write music to a mass for Pope John Paul. This was recorded and delivered to the Vatican. The Pope died very shortly afterwards. But, he's written many scores for movies and commercial and is the Executive Director of the Contemopary Arts Center. Just recently he started up a movie production comapny with the actor Harold Sylvester based in New Orleans. I believe this will florish quickly for them.
I have a lovely family. I feel blessed everyday that I've surrounded myself with such gifted individuals. Would like to see more of them! ;-)
Always,
Lynn xo
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